2009 Seeing & Readings (III)

最近看書的速度越來越慢，己邁入九月底，數數今年以來只讀了四十多本書。

連帶地發不負責任書評的週期也越拖越長，導致有友人等不及而直接msn我，問是否有啥好書可以推薦。對於老劉近來讀書的怠惰，在此略表慚愧。至於不看書，家中沒有第四台可看的老劉，到底晚上都做啥去了？藉著此次不負責任書評，來個老劉近日夜生活大公開…

呵，可沒什麼香豔刺激的內容要分享，要聊聊的是最近花了大把時間在看的連續劇/影集們。
老劉一向不熱衷於看連續劇，尤其是台灣那種灑狗血、好人永遠太蠢、壞人永遠太奸、人往往死也死不透、誤會永遠解不完的芭樂劇情，更是敬謝不敏。但，大抵是年紀漸漸大了(這真有什麼關聯嗎?)，近日以來開始對觀賞劇集接受度越來越高。而促成這習性的一大推手是劉老爸，因為劉老爸喜愛觀賞日劇，定期選購日劇DVD回家觀賞，也將它們『自動借』給老劉觀賞。恭敬不如從命，老劉也樂得從中挑選自己喜歡的類型觀看 (至於沒看的部份，也要裝成都看過了，才不掃了劉老爸分享的興致…)。

看影集/連續劇特花時間。日本連續劇還算精美短小，通常一齣不過八至十四集，但美國影集一季往往就有十幾、二十集，受歡迎的影集更是動輒四、五個seasons，看完一整個系列可能就要花上一整個星期，沒時間看書，也就不難理解。這些日子以來看的影集有：(美劇) Grey’s Anatomy、Desperate Housewives、House M.D.、Lipstick Jungle、Boston Legal及重看Sex and the City等等；(日劇) Mr. Brain、流星の絆、BOSS、魔女裁判、Triangle…族繁不及備載，不過有些實在過於默默無聞也沒啥特出之處，所以就不特地一一列出來了。或許下次有空時，也來說說對這些影集的想法。

1) Remeber Me：是老劉喜歡看的Shopaholic系列作者Sophie Kinsella另一作品。話說老劉看Shopaholic系列作品，從【Confessions of a Shopaholic】、【Shopaholic Takes Manhattan】、【Shopahloic Ties the Knot】、到【Shopaholic & Sister】，加上她其他的作品如【Can You Keep a Secre】，老劉算是個很捧場的讀者了，但說實話，從最早讀【Confessions of a Shopaholic】時每每忍俊不住，邊讀邊笑開懷，到越讀越有作者老狗玩不出新把戲之感。還未讀【Remeber Me】之前聽了不少人推薦這本書有趣，所以心中小小重燃希望，期待這本書能排除老劉對作者江郎才盡的疑慮…但，世事總難盡如人意(有沒有這麼嚴重?!)。 【Remeber Me】的故事劇情頗新鮮，但作者說故事的方法，故事女主角的思考、行為模式，讓老劉不斷有以為在讀的是Shopaholic系列的錯覺。不負責任推薦指數2.5顆星。

2) 關於跑步，我說的其實是：村上春樹的散文集 ─ 說是散文，或許更像是村上圍繞著「跑步這件事」的個人日記及心情隨筆。個人認為村上算得上值得推崇的當代作者之一，而透過書中村上描述他對跑步這件事的「堅持」，也得以窺見他對「寫作這件事」的想法和執行方法，不難想像成功的作家之所以能成功，除了天生的才華之外，其「執念」與不懈的努力更是令人不得不佩服。而每每讀著村上的散文隨筆時，總讓老劉默默生起「這怪怪歐吉的特殊生活真是令我羡慕啊~」的念頭。不負責任推薦指數3顆星。

3) 同名之人(The Namesake)：「生於倫敦，成長於美國的印裔作家(Jhumpa Lahiri)」，故事又是以印裔美籍移民的家庭為主軸，其實看到這樣的作者/故事簡介是會讓老劉有些怕怕的，因為多年前也是聽推薦而讀的書【白牙】(指的是Zadie Smith的【White Teeth】，不是另一本鼎鼎有名Jack London的【White Fang】)，厚厚的一本加上許多陌生的英文單字，讓老劉吃足了苦頭，從此在心中對此類描寫移民的身份認同的小說種下了「陰影」。此次又是忍不住受推薦的煽動，鼓起勇氣再試一次，結果卻還真不差！是本讓人能充份感受其描的生活細節中蘊涵的喜怒哀愁和充沛倩感。不負責任推薦指數4顆星。
(後記：其實【White Teeth】應該也是好書一本，怪就該怪當年老劉英文程度不佳，以致查字典的辛苦掩蓋了享受讀書的樂趣。或許改天該再把它拿出來重讀一遍…)

4) 最後理論(Final Theory)：暢銷排行榜選書。文案中寫道「繼達文西密碼之後，愛因斯坦之祕即將揭曉」，而我的讀後感正是－ 除了「達文西密碼物理學版」之外，我還能怎麼形容它呢？但，第一本叫創新，第二本以後，應該就叫了無新意了罷。不負責任推薦指數只給2顆星。

5) 貝塞尼家的姊妹(What the dead know)：暢銷排行榜選書又一例，同樣也是不怎麼成功的案例。內容不怎麼值得推理，也不是很驚悚，但至少讀起來還算順暢便是。不負責任推薦指數2顆星。

6) 一瞬之光：首次嘗試日本知名作家白石一文的作品。閱讀前看了寫在書頁駱以軍的推薦序，故事/人物被形容得隱隱帶著村上春樹風格，駱更明白寫出『這確是一本比村上春樹要成熟許多』的故事。抱著這樣的印象去讀，小說前三分之二確實印證了這感覺，但讀到後來，卻發現作者賦與女主角強烈特異的個性，也遮蔽不了作者藏在骨子裡的沙文主義，顯眼而突出的女主角，最終也需男主角的解救以證明其價值…怎麼好像對這本書特別不滿？其實並沒有，只能說我實在見不著那道「一瞬之光」罷。不負責任推薦指數3顆星。

7) 鹿男：看到書的封面時，其實心裡的第一個念頭是：「這是一本漫畫的小說版嗎？」更怪的是，我越讀還有越確定這真是本漫畫文稿的感覺。但它著實不是，非但不是，據稱它還入圍了日本文壇大獎直木賞。是老劉喪失了想像力和幽默感嗎？怎麼除了『像漫畫一樣』，我對它沒有任何特別的感動和想法。不負責任推薦指數2顆星。

8) 心塵往事(The Cider House Rules)：八百頁份量滿滿的一本書，老劉發現，厚書好看的機率通常較高，而這本就是屬於好看的大多數。我不認識作者John Irving，但他文筆的優美、對人物栩栩如生的描寫，故事吸引人卻又不落入俗套。不負責任推薦指數3.5顆星。

9) 四季奇譚 (Different Seasons)：Stephen King的作品。印象中以為Stephen King專寫些詭異、驚悚的故事，但【四季奇譚】裡的第一篇故事就是鼎鼎有名的「Shawshank Redemption」。不知道「Shawshank Redemption」是什麼？「刺激1995」這部電影總算聽過罷(話說回來，這電影名稱還真是完全跳tone啊)！電影好看，Stephen King的說故事能力也是一等一，小說不會因電影的出色而被比下去。儘管其它三篇我只覺得「還好」而已，光看在「Shawshank Redemption」的份上，不負責任推薦指數我就要給3顆星。

10) 盲眼刺客(The Blind Assassin)：雙線並行的故事結構增添閱讀的風味，但我只覺得這促成了整體來講「中等以上」的閱讀趣味。好像是個挺會得獎的書/作者啊，或許下次再找作者Margaret Atwood的其他書來試試。不負責任推薦指數2.5顆星。

11) 戰龍無畏(His Majesty’s Dragon)：近期頗「夯」的小說系列第一集，接下來還有第二集【勇闖皇城】、第三集【荒漠奇航】等。老劉一向會嘗試「連載小說」(更夯的「暮光之城」除外…它的題材不是我的菜 XD)。我的理論是：能一出再出版的小說，即便到後來梗被寫爛了，起碼前幾集應該是還行的，否則誰願意來出版不叫好又不叫座的書。這理論對老劉行得通的有【Harry Potter】系列、【Shopaholic】系列、【夜巡者】系列等；而證實不符合這理論的有【向達倫大冒險】系列、【淑女偵探社】系列，以及這本【戰龍無畏】。剛開始讀時還覺題材新穎有趣，但讀到後段就讓我提不起太大勁兒了。倒不至於難看，只要老劉再看第二、三集，大概也只能「謝謝再聯絡了」。不負責任推薦指數2.5顆星。

12) 緩慢性愛實踐入門(Slow Sex)：暢銷排行上熱門的「工具書」。對於作者亞當．德永在書中闡揚的理論/方法，有很大部份老劉並不這麼贊同(而作者卻一再地強調『所有的女人都是這麼覺得的…』云云，就讓老劉更無法苟同了)。但總是書中提到的某些方法/知識還是comes in handy somehow，所以，作為其「工具書」的目的，不負責任推薦指數給2.5顆星。

Let’s Make a Phone Call

太久沒發新文了。
忙啊、懶啊、煩啊、不解釋啦。
為了營造此站尚未荒廢的假象，
硬是把本來只發在「阿寶的流水帳」上的文章也借來一貼，充充數，
所以此文成篇就是只報告阿寶無聊的日常言行，請多包涵~

================================================ (我是分隔線)

好像大部份的兒童都很喜歡玩電話，
阿寶也不例外。

從早期的愛把玩、亂按家裡的電話、阿寶爸媽的手機，
到現在只是亂按已不能滿足他，總是要求真能「通上話」才算數。

阿寶媽有時會用自己的手機，幫阿寶撥給坐在客聽另一端的阿寶爸，
讓阿寶能和爹地「通上電話」
(為了講電話，阿寶爸還得特地從客廳躲到房間裡去，悄聲地回話，以求「講電話」的真實感 ==;)。
但不能老是這麼個玩法，畢竟阿寶媽打手機給阿寶爸，
電話費可不會因為air distance很短就便宜一點 XD
於是，讓阿寶改打室內電話，比較便宜。
但市話要打給誰呢？(不能打我們的手機啊，否則反而更貴~)
阿寶外婆只好被我強迫中獎，變成陪阿寶講電話的受害者 :P
由阿寶媽幫忙撥通電話，先詢問是否在忙著什麼事，若有空的話，就換阿寶接手講電話。

阿寶外婆一般總是問：「你吃飯了嗎？」「有沒有乖？」
(之後說些什麼，阿寶媽在一旁聽不清，也難由阿寶的回答猜測…)
阿寶「講電話」一般不太說話，只是默默聽著的時間居多，
偶爾簡短回答外婆的問題，但有時會報告他當天最愛說的一件事，例如：
「我今天把媽媽的玉米吃光光~~」
(我想阿寶外婆大抵是常聽不懂他沒頭沒腦地在說些什麼罷 :P)

總之，對話內容由旁人聽來，真可謂窮極無聊，
但阿寶可是高興得很，光從他講電話時臉上滿足的專注或竊笑就可得知，
更別說他三不五時就要求打電話。
若是告訴他外婆去買菜，不能接電話，他就會開始點名其他認識的人，
包括：外公、小王(阿寶表哥)、小寶(阿寶小弟)、阿姨…
一再盧著要撥電話給別人。
我說阿寶啊，可不是每個人都那麼閒，可以陪你大爺玩電話消遣的呀~

最近，阿寶媽盧不過阿寶，也就由著他自己亂按電話。
我倒還不擔心阿寶亂撥電話，打擾到陌生人，
因為目前為止，阿寶怎麼撥，總是按了幾個鍵後，就會開始聽到：
「對不起，您撥的號碼是空號，請查明後再撥，謝謝… (repeat)…」(電話語音)
阿寶總是會靜靜地聽著，然後還會對著電話repeat：
「沒關係…」(因為對方重覆說著『對不起』…)
「不客氣…」(因為對方重覆說著『謝謝』…)
聽著聽著，想掛電話時，還不忘說聲「bye bye」。

今天早上，阿寶聽著電話語音，問阿寶媽說：「這個小姐是誰啊？」
阿寶媽：「是阿姨啊。」 (隨便敷衍的回答)
阿寶：「是什麼阿姨啊？」
「就是叫阿姨的小姐啊。」(做媽的辭窮，隨口亂說)
「阿姨小姐哦…」 (阿寶勉強接受了這答案，沉默地聽著話筒一陣子…)
「那阿姨家有沒有沙發啊？」「那阿姨家有沒有DVD啊？」
「………」
(這是什麼天外飛來的問題啊？我說兒子啊，你也管得态多了罷~)

2009 Seeing & Readings (II)

很久沒更新部落格。
忙碌和壓力是一回事，
對於忙碌和壓力的來源，即便心中滋味有千頭萬緒，卻沒有化為部落格文字的情緒，
則又是另一回事。
因此為了撥撥部落格裡因閒置而生的蜘蛛網，還是來寫寫不負責任書評好了。
儘管一寫又得寫上好長一篇，也比去整裡心裡亂成一團的思緒來得容易些。

1) 我在雨中等你 (The Art of Racing in the Rain)：原本看這書的標題，以為會是那種日本純愛小說 —— 亦即一般來說不屬於老劉的菜的那一類。所以儘管它盤踞暢銷排行榜多時，我也是一直刻意忽略它的存在。直到某天炯叔提起「聽說它很不錯看」，才讓老劉拋開成見找來一讀。結果，還真出乎老劉意外，是本好看的書呀~ 雖然那種苦盡甘來的劇情，脫不了些微「芭樂肥皂劇」的氣味，但作者透過一條狗的眼光，以幽默也極具情感的口吻說故事，就算芭樂也甘願。不負責任推薦指數給4顆星。
2) 刺蝟的優雅 (L’elegance du herisson)：也是本長駐暢銷排行榜上的書，加上書的簡介還真吸引老劉，讓老劉迫不及待地排上書單。但結果卻不如我預期，除了整本書的劇情走向仍得我青睞之外，它不斷插播的哲學性文字，讓老劉讀得有種心不在焉的敷衍，不過想必是老劉的哲學思考層次不夠，才無法領略箇中趣味。不太具哲學性智慧的老劉，不負責任推薦指數只給2顆星。
3) Q&A：大名鼎鼎電影【貧民百萬富翁】的原著小說，儘管電影的劇情和小說劇情在細節上差異甚鉅。若要問我小說好看還是電影好看，就劇情而言我會選擇小說，但電影利用畫面及音樂所賦與的情緒和氛圍營造，是想像力不足的小說讀者如老劉者，在閱讀過程中腦中畫面所望塵莫及的。不負責任推薦指數3顆星。
4) 群 (上)(下) (The Swarm)：厚厚的小說兩本，封面封底寫了一長串本書的輝煌記錄，但說真的，它實在讓我讀得有些不耐。探討原因，應該歸咎於老劉對於海洋生態之類的資訊著實毫無興趣，於是對它大篇幅的鋪陳解說，只想不斷快轉。不熱愛大自然生態知識的老劉，不負責任推薦指數只給1.5顆星。
5) 項塔蘭(上)(下) (Shantaram)：總是暢銷排行榜-oriented的選書方式，還是有點道理的。雖難免遇到不合個人口味的書，卻也容易找到令人一讀就捨不得放下的好書。【項塔蘭】又是兩本厚厚的小說，出場人物不少加上印度名字拗口，小說還得附上一張人物角色說明。但不同於【群】，就算故事長，仍舊讓我讀得津津有味。這就是書「好看」和「不好看」(個人品味！)之間騙不了人的差別罷。話說回來，這本書據說是「自傳體」小說…我說這作者的人生會不太戲劇化了一點啊？！不負責任推薦指數4顆星。
6) 第十層地獄 (The Tenth Circle)：暢銷書，暢銷書，但對老劉而言，煽情和聳動有餘，精彩層度和欣賞價值卻不足。作者Jodi Picoult另兩本暢銷書【姊姊的守護者】、【事發的19分鐘】老劉之前也都看過、給過小星星，一本很喜歡，而另一本覺得不怎麼優，現在再加上這本【第十層地獄】，二比一，大抵是證明了，Jodi Picoult不會是我喜歡的作家之一。不負責任推薦指數1.5顆星。
7) 終於悲哀的外國語 (やがて哀しき外國語)：村上春樹一直是老劉最喜愛的作家之一。這本是村上的散文集，記錄其旅居美國普林斯頓大學時的一些生活觀察，由慢跑、反日浪潮、談到美國知名學府裡的無形階級岐視，幽默之外亦發人省思。不負責任推薦指數2.5顆星。
8) 陪妳到最後 (Love Life)：又是一本看似日本純愛小說名，但描述的感情卻一點也不「純愛」的書，而是面對嚴重的病魔來襲時，一對原本平凡恩愛的夫妻，如何在愛情、親情、同情、責任與背叛中掙扎，直至確認了始終存在感情深處的堅持與真摰。不負責任推薦指數3.5顆星。
9) 尋找漩渦貓的方法 (うずまき貓のみつけかた)：短時間內一連看了兩本村上春樹的散文集，同樣是其旅居美國的一些生活隨筆，其實現在回想起來，已不那麼確定印象中的哪一篇文章出自哪一本書，只隱約記得【尋找漩渦貓的方法】是關於較多生活中瑣事的隨筆，而【終於悲哀的外國語】中記錄了較多的嚴肅話題。而印象深刻的發現是，原來之所以喜歡村上，是他對於生活中一些不起眼的小事常有些可能旁人看來「莫名其妙」的想法，讓老劉在閱讀時常有驚呼：「啊！原來我不是特別孤癖/龜毛才會有xxx的類似想法~ 瞧~ 這裡不就有人彷彿說出了我的心裡話，還編印成書了嗎？」多少有種難得遇知音的感慨。不負責任推薦指數3顆星。
10) 潘朵拉處方 (The Pandora Prescription)：拿來消遣娛樂算得上是稱職的選擇，但書的宣傳文案：「比《達文西密碼》更具爭議，史上第一本，數萬人連署請願，確保不被禁止出版的小說」，讓老劉深感言過其實，甚至因此而覺得蠢了起來。不負責任推薦指數2.5顆星。
11) 龍紋身的女孩 (Man som hatar kvinor)：丹麥的推理小說，第一次的嘗試，風格迥異於以往讀過的偵探推理小說，剛開始閱讀時覺得步調緩慢，但隨著劇情向前推展也漸漸牽引讀者的的情緒。只是連續讀了【潘朵拉處方】和【龍紋身的女孩】，發現老劉一定是讀了太多的偵探小說，對大部份作者的鋪陳練就了不可小覷的洞悉推理能力，否則怎麼每每都在開讀不久之後，便猜中了作者想暗示的結局。不負責任推薦指數3顆星。
12) 失控的邏輯課 (Obedience)：暢銷排行上熱門的推理小說，也是網路上討論度極高的一本書，但看完後老劉只有滿腦子的不解，不解這樣的一本書如何讓這麼多人欣賞和喜愛。閱讀過程中只覺得作者刻意的「裝神弄鬼」，「矯揉造作」地製造特別的敘事手法，卻不知為何讀來總顯得粗淺幼稚。不負責任推薦指數1.5顆星。
13) 失控的總統醜聞 (The Brethren)：不是什麼排行榜上的新書，但作者是鼎鼎有名的John Grisham，寫過的知名著作有【A Time to Kill】、【The Firm】、【The Pelican Brief】、【The Client】、【The Rainmaker】和【The Runaway Jury】等等，而老劉一向喜歡看及讀一些法律相關的小說或電影，所以這本【失控的總統醜聞】對我不算意外的選擇。結果即便不到拍案叫絕，也算達到預期的娛樂。不負責任推薦指數2顆星。
14) 歐巴馬的夢想之路-以父之名 (Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance)：這位令人充滿驚喜的新美國總統，出乎意料的是個好作家。也或許因為這本書撰寫於他踏入政壇之前，它並未有任何個人的政治「置入性行銷」意味，反而是一本好看的自傳。不負責任推薦指數給上3顆星。
15) 遜咖日記：葛瑞的中學求生記 (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)：從炯叔那邊聽聞這本書，說是本輕鬆的小書，而它的確是。原本預期是像【大頭春日記】之類的書，但結果我喜愛它勝過【大頭春日記】，因為【大頭】難免給人一種「徐娘半老的女演員，硬要扮演青春無敵小女孩」的虛假，張大春刻意用小朋友的口吻企圖反諷時事的斧鑿痕跡明顯而不加掩飾，反有種「不上不下」的尷尬(書本一定要「教忠教孝」嗎？) 但【遜咖日記：葛瑞的中學求生記】卻能提供純粹「青春無敵」式的無厘頭幽默。不負責任推薦指數3顆星。
16) 第十二個天使 (the twelfth angel)：還沒開始讀時就對它沒有太高的期待，因為作者是位標榜著「勵志大師」的人士。Well，again，特別強調「陽光」、「勵志」、「生命的意義」和「生活之目標」的書一向不怎麼得老劉青睞。結果也只是再度證明了老劉不適合太陽光與健康的精神食糧。而特別想提的一件事是，不知為何近來讀書總是對網頁上、書封上的推薦序言特別耿耿於懷。一般來說，你可以由推薦者的「類型」就做出一個基本判斷，它會不會是一本你所認為的好書。再來，出版社自己的宣傳文案，或什麼不知名網友的推薦，就我目前觀察統計結果而言，其可信度大約趨近於零，甚至最近如果看到像是「如有一本書是你一生必讀的，那就是這本！」之類的話，讀完後的感想都會因這些誇大的推薦反顯出某種諷刺似的滑稽。而若是某些文學性、甚或是諾貝爾獎項的紀錄，老劉其實也難確定自己的文學水準有那麼的高尚，反倒是像是國外一些知名報紙雜誌的書評推薦，是目前我覺得最中肯而接近事實的一種。言歸正傳，這本書不負責任推薦指數1.5顆星。

Books, Laugh Out Loud

最近很忙，
提不起勁來寫書評 (即便明明沒什麼內容，卻每次一寫就要寫好久…)，
而最近看的新書數量也不多 (因為一連看了兩部超厚的書 --『群』和『項塔蘭』)。

一般來說，我愛看長篇小說，
也正因如此，明明看來那麼有份量的書，卻沒有預期中的好看時，
特別會讓老劉覺得不耐煩。
但並非兩部書 (『群』和『項塔蘭』) 都令老劉失望，
一部極佳，而另一部閱讀的過程中卻常讓老劉嫌棄又臭又長
(再次聲明，這兩部書都甚有口碑，老劉不愛，完全個人喜好問題)。
Which one is which?
賣個關子，不負責任書評時再來揭曉，哈。

既然不是要寫不負責任亂亂評，那發這篇文是要廢話什麼？
其實，只是有一件小事特別讓我想提一提…

之前看『項塔蘭』裡有一小段無關緊要的情節，
和最近讀的『終於悲哀的外國語』中一個略顯無厘頭的片段，
不約而同地讓老劉夜半躺在床上閱讀時，
忍俊不住，大聲笑了出來！哈！哈！哈！

好笑的內容是什麼，若要在此轉述，自己都覺得一定冷場，
可是當時，著著實實地讓老劉來來回回笑了好幾趟 :D

讀了本好書，自然令人喜悅；
能讀得令人會心一笑的文章，已難能可貴；
但能讀到讓老劉開懷大笑的文字，
片刻間的心情愉悅、通體舒暢、身心壓力頓時一掃而空，
總覺應值得特別為文記錄之。

就這樣。

To Eat or Not To Eat

去年曾發過一文【Sickness Raid】，描寫一次突如其來的暈眩。
那時搞笑地以「中邪」來做結，但留言中DD提出了「梅尼爾氏症」的可能性，
雖然至今仍撐著沒去看醫生，但當時孤狗了梅尼爾氏症的種種症狀和相關資料，
老劉心裡幾乎已是深信不疑這一定就是我的痼疾。
由於資料中提到了這種病是無法根治的，只能在發作時進行症狀的緩解治療，
所以在大部份老劉處於「還算健康 (i.e.沒有暈到大吐特吐或站不住的程度)」的狀況時，
我是不會特別去在意的。

但剛剛在老劉常逛的人氣部落格「酪梨壽司的日記」中，
發現壽司的大白先生也被診斷出梅尼爾氏症，才又引起我對這件事的注意。

壽司文中引用的資料：
彰化秀傳醫院耳鼻喉部部長鍾從得解釋：「梅尼爾氏症是一種內耳病變所導致的平衡功能失調，因而引發眩暈，由於病情發作時，頓時感到天旋地轉，聽力障礙，甚至惡心、嘔吐，耳朵很不舒服，甚至有疼痛感，影響生活品質至鉅，好發於30至50歲成年人。以目前所知，成因仍不明，可能是壓力過大、自體免疫出問題，或上呼吸道感染，造成病毒或細菌入侵內耳道，引發內淋巴水腫，造成陣發性眩暈、耳鳴及時好時壞的感覺神經聽力喪失。」（引用自《聯合報》〈梅尼爾氏症 天旋地轉〉）
以及
高醫的耳鼻喉科主治醫師張漢明說：「病人常會抱怨怕聽到吵雜的聲音，在市場或車站等喧嘩公共場所會很不舒服。」（引用自高醫醫訊月刊）

讓我看了不禁連連點頭稱是，這些症狀說明真是一語道破筆拙老劉的心聲啊！

我經常性地處於嚴重耳鳴狀態中，
(所謂「嚴重」指的是不像一般坐飛機起降時，可能會有的那種微弱低鳴聲和異樣感，
而是以一種幾乎干擾我聽覺的吵雜聲持續進行著)，
偶爾當睡眠不足或較疲累時，也會有些微暈眩欲嘔的感覺出現，
更別說我一向對太過擁擠吵雜的市集場合沒有什麼忍受力。
原本以為是自己太大驚小怪，才會對可能「大家難免都有的不適」意識過高，
所以當瞭解了這真的是「一種堂堂正正的病」後，其實反而鬆了一口氣，
總算我不是個過於神經緊張的怪人 (--> 老劉一直有種怕被歸類為「怪人」恐懼…)，
才會叨念著自己這兒不舒服、那裡受不了之類的。

然而酪梨壽司的發文，引起我決定著文寫這麼多whining的其實是一則讀者留言：
「…分享一下台大眩暈科醫師說梅尼爾氏症不可以吃的東西~~
紅酒.啤酒.起士.巧克力.柳橙.蕃茄.牛奶…」
再加上也有別的留言提到，「飲食上要注意清淡少鹽…」

看得老劉整個臉上三條線…
除了啤酒之外，紅酒、起士、巧克力、牛奶 幾乎都是老劉的心頭好，
更別說我一向嗜吃重口味的食物。

讓老劉不禁任性地想，
如果都不能吃紅酒、起士、巧克力、牛奶等等所謂「不健康的食物」，
要頭暈目眩想吐？
那我寧願就去頭暈目眩想吐罷…

(看到這裡，嚴禁讀者們有「死好！」等類似的內心口白出現，謝謝合作。)

To Tell, Or Not To Tell? That’s the ART…

俗話說「Honesty is the best policy」
老劉當然可以贊同這句話的道理。

然而，在職場上常有一種情形，讓我不知究竟該不該將我所認知的事實，大聲說出來。
至今，每每碰到這種場合，還是讓老劉不知如何應對。
寫出來，或許讀者中有善於處理職場關係的朋友，可以給老劉一些睿智而實用的建議…

狀況是這樣的，
老劉在工作上，常有機會跟公司「上級長官」一同出去開會，
常在某些開會或討論的場合，有長官會忽然冒出些「並不那麼正確」的資訊宣告以鼓舞士氣。
眼見長官在眾員工前談(吹?)得起勁，眾家員工也隨著這些資訊起舞，全場士氣激昂，
坐在一旁的老劉，卻是內心煎熬吶喊著：「Wait a moment! 事情好像不是這樣的….」
默默而激烈地自顧自上演著內心戲，
掙扎著不知道是否該提供正確的資訊，以免大家事後發現真相有落差時失望
(或搞不好還要怪老劉沒幫忙掌握完整而正確的資訊)。
然而，在眾員工面前指出長官慷慨激昂、比手指腳說著的事情很有可能是錯的，
會不會又給長官們「不識相、白目、扯後腳、拆台」的印象，老劉平白扮了壞人??

舉兩個最近的例子…
例一，
前兩天和大陸同事’09年Kickoff Meeting聚餐席間，
為了激勵銷售(sales)們的士氣，老闆春風得意地說著：
「別以你們去年的成績就感到自滿，我們全公司去年就賣了xxx套產品、xxx套產品，
大陸地區雖做得可以，但也還有很大的努力空間啊….」
觥籌交錯間，老闆吹噓點數字本來也就不是什麼大事，大可不必在意甚至往心裡去，
可偏偏說了幾句後，老闆還要轉過頭來問我：「Julie，對罷，去年我們就賣了xxx……」
哎呀~ 老闆大人說的數字不僅不正確，還與事實相去『甚遠』~~
眼見不僅老闆，就連一群員工們也停下話來，眼巴巴地等著我回句話，
那那那…我能說：「錯！我們’08年其實只一共賣了產品xxx套及產品xxx套嗎？」
那豈不是當場拆了老闆的台？這員工也可以直接坐進冷宮了罷。
所以，當下老劉只好說：「嗯…嗯…數字我一時記不得了…」
見我話接不下去，老闆也懶得再搭理我。
然而，這件事依舊在腦中困擾著老劉的是，
以老闆的身份或心態而言，當下究竟是希望我提供正確的資訊，還是要我幫著隨口瞎說？
又像我當下不知如何回應，所以聲稱我「不知道」，
是否給老闆一種腦殘、而要資料時總幫不上忙的印象？

例二，
Kickoff Meeting中產品研發部的長官在談到產品Roadmap時，
聲稱我們在產品中將推出一個「競爭廠商都沒有的技術功能…」「此項功能為技術長的創新技術…」，並且大加宣揚此項功能的特有價值及強大市場應用。
會間，同事們莫不大受鼓舞，為領導的英明睿智大加稱頌，
數人爭相起閧勸進公司針對該項功能技術申請專利，得以大大加強公司競爭力云云…
再次，坐在會議中一角的老劉又開始坐立難安，冷汗直冒大演內心戲。
因為，工作上時常需要study競爭廠商產品技術的老劉，
明明曾在市場上不只一家的競爭產品中見到此項功能，
銷售們被鼓勵在未來在客戶端用此作為killer application去介紹張揚時，
難保不會被客戶直接打槍，被潑一大桶冷水。
但是在當下的「熾烈氣氛」中，老劉絕對是不適宜(或沒那個膽)去直接質疑的，
至終我還是選擇一聲不發，
然而，憂慮仍然悄悄種進了老劉的心裡。
誰知道，等同事們發現這項「獨家專有」的秘密武器原來不過南柯一夢時，
老闆會不會反而怪罪老劉的市場資訊提供不完全？
(但也沒人來在放話前事先問過我的意見呀~)

總之，
To tell, or not to tell (the truth)
不僅是個question，不能有個非黑即白的答案，
更是一項深奧難解的藝術啊。

2009 Seeing & Readings (I)

Sidebar上的「近期停看聽」，
原本也不過是因為和友人三不五時總要互相問一下：
「你最近讀了什麼書？有什麼可以推薦嗎？」
為了常常明明記得之前讀了什麼書還不錯， 可被友人一問起時卻腦袋空空，怎麼也想不起來，
索性作個tracking，弄個書單放在網上，方便直接查看。
又為了sidebar的list總不能『落落長』地沒完沒了，於是就衍生個定期的不負責任書評，
以方便purge list後，更早的記錄不會就此消失，讀過的書雖年代久遠也仍舊可考……
解釋這麼多，要闡明的只是：
看倌，我真的只是隨便評評啊~
既不負責任，也擺明了沒啥深度，純粹反應老劉個人讀書喜好而已~~

但最近，卻有不只一個會來逛逛的友人，和老劉閒聊時催促我更新荒廢已久的不負責任書評，
因為他們可是將這久久一次的書單點評，做為他們選書時的重要參考。

啊~ 壓力啊~~ 老劉不能handle壓力~~~

雖說有人督促老劉別偷懶也算好事一樁，不然拖得太久那些讀過的書內容都要忘記泰半，
可是想到有人可能因為老劉的胡言亂語多花了幾兩銀，
讀了本覺得索然無味的書後，心裡會暗暗埋怨老劉的品味不優， 就有股壓力油然而升。
所以，除了回應好友們的催促趕緊來一發書單更新外，
請容我再次強調，
這是「不負責任書評」、不負責任書評啊~
而重點是落在『不負責任』四個字~~

不負責任 不負責任 不負責任不負責任 不負責任 不負責任 不負責任 不負責任 (<--- 我是分隔線)

這次的書單中其實品項很少， 倒不是因為最近又變更忙了導致沒時間看書。
主因是老劉的老爸(老老劉?)最近給了老劉一大堆日劇DVDs，
讓家裡「沒電視」、平時不看電視的老劉， 為了不讓老爸掃興，也開始在晚上撥些時間看日劇，
至今已消化了六、七套日劇，自然讀書的時間就大幅減少，
或許該考慮也把日劇列進「近期停看聽」，大放厥詞、可以佔佔版面罷......

1) 不專業偵探社 (The Spellman Files)：這本書的文案號稱「一本讓你笑到小腹燃脂的小說」，但說實話，除了少數地方作者憤世嫉俗的特有幽默讓老劉微微嘴角牽動外，還真想不出哪裡讓老劉開懷大笑，更別提我的小腹依舊便便。不負責任推薦指數2.5顆星。

2) 梅崗城故事 (To Kill a Mockingbird)：之所以讀這本書，完全是衝著炯叔的推薦。從很久前就聽聞這本書不錯，但因為知道它的內容主要處理種族歧視的議題，讓老劉預想它會是本沉重而憂傷的小說。而之前曾看過老劉不負責任書評的看倌便知道，老劉是個不喜歡這類題材的讀者，不論是書或電影我都不愛看悲劇，完全一派鴕鳥心態，不去瞭解就能讓假裝世界大同，人人幸福快樂。但就像終究鼓起勇氣讀了【追風箏的孩子】和【燦爛千陽】，想想，或許一本好書也是值得老劉為之掬一把傷感的眼淚，從地洞裡稍稍探出頭來接受這殘酷世界的考驗的。【梅崗城故事】絕對是本好書，其雋永之處在於不僅將其要表達對人性的省思與批判清楚呈現之外，其溫和筆調與豐富的說故事方式，讓讀者在傷感的故事主軸與結局之外，心中對純真善良的本質仍能保持樂觀。不負責任推薦指數給4.5顆星。

3) Odyssey: Pepsi to Apple : A Journey of Adventure, Ideas, and the Future (蘋果戰爭)：讀這本書是個很『妙』的選擇。大家應該都對Apple蘋果電腦這個老牌科技廠商曾經大起大落的故事略有耳聞，在這些傳頌故事裡的主角，是曾經被掃地出門，爾後又以iPod演出大復活的Apple創辦人兼精神領袖，Steve Jobs。而這本書，老劉之所以稱『妙』就妙在：身為一本「商智叢書」，它十足是個「過期品」。它是當時在權力鬥爭中將Jobs趕出Apple的總經理，John Sculley，的自傳。該書出版的時機(1987年初版)，是在Jobs被趕出Apple後，時值蘋果電腦在市場上獲得了小小的「come back」，而讓Sculley在書中自述為一個將Apple由Jobs搞垮的泥淖中救起的英雄，因而他在書裡對Jobs原先在Apple中所提倡的所謂「蘋果精神」和「做事方式」多所批判。然而，誰知在小小的復甦後，蘋果電腦在市場上又是節節敗退、生意不斷下滑，作者Sculley最後也非風光地踉蹌下台，但是，這些當然己是不被包含在書本裡的「後話」。而讓老劉覺得特別的地方就在，看這本書不僅能感受到所謂「成者為王，敗者為寇」的奧義，更令我深深警惕的是要「不以一時成敗論英雄」。畢竟，當時誰也想不到幾年後，Jobs再度回到Apple(1997年)，並以iPod讓Apple起死回生(2001年)，在科技界成為人們爭相討論的傳奇。在讀此書的當下，看到當時Sculley對Jobs領導方式的諸多批評，再對照今日大家對Jobs的推崇，每每能讓老劉會心一笑，不過這當然並非書本的原意便是。不負責任推薦指數2顆星(如果不提書本之外老劉感受的特別趣味的話…)。

4) 幽默公寓－親愛的，你在聽我說嗎？：一本以詼諧率真的筆調描寫一個法國家庭日常生活的輕鬆小說，過了這麼久再來寫書評，其實都想不起本書有什麼特別值得一提之處，只說明了它實在不怎麼樣罷？不負責任推薦指數2顆星。

5) 搞鬼稅務員 (Confessions of a Tax Collector)：我自己都解釋不來為何要讀這麼一本冷門的小說。認真想來，是當時一個讓我聯想起一部看過的電影，口白人生 (Stranger than Fiction)，的小小情緒牽動，讓老劉拿起了這本以稅務員為題材的小說。可話說回來，此書所描寫的美國稅務員，在台灣的稅務系統及環境下讓讀者較難理解，看書時還得多加些自己的想像力。不負責任推薦指數2顆星。

6) 消失的藍衣女孩 (Two Little Girls in Blue)：書店暢銷排行榜中的作品，但只能說以其偵探小說的故事內容與作者說故事技巧而言，可說是了無新意，而其想特別強調的雙胞胎心電感應題材，卻又顯得有些矯情和虛假。若不太要求，湊合著用來殺殺時間尚可。不負責任推薦指數1.5顆星。

7) 溫柔酒吧 (The Tender Bar: A Memoir)：讀一個會說故事的人的自傳是一大樂事。此書沒有什麼驚人的故事情節，述說的作者自身的故事，有人生中的迷惘、追尋、歡笑、悲傷和領悟，娓娓道來而讓老劉享受其流露的各種喜怒哀樂。不負責任推薦指數3.5顆星。

8) 天生嫩骨 (Tender at the Bone)：一連兩本書名裡有「Tender」的閱讀，一連兩本作者自傳式的寫作，非但沒讓老劉煩膩，反而是聽故事聽上了癮。英文書名挺有詩意，而中文書名翻譯更是讓人好奇內容到底是什麼，其實作者本身是位美食評論家，因此在書中不時穿插著對美食的介紹，而更多的是作者以幽默溫暖的筆觸描寫其成為美食家背後的生活故事。不負責任推薦指數4顆星。

9) 深夜加油站遇見蘇格拉底 (Way of the peaceful warrior: a book that changes lives)：記得這本書翻拍的電影之前似乎曾在Oscar小小露臉，心想老劉已經很久沒空看電影了(悲~)，那可以讀讀書也是不錯。但讀了這本書之後，只能說它完全不如我所預想，內容也不完全不是我的菜。說教的痕跡過於明顯，充滿哲學的闡揚也就罷了，故事卻偏偏不如【牧羊少年奇幻之旅】般引人入勝。不負責任推薦指數2顆星。

10) 長尾理論─打破80/20法則的新經濟學 (The Long Tail)：Pareto rule，或稱80/20法則，相信很多人都聽過，不僅被行銷策略人奉為圭臬，有時也見應用於如時間管理等其他議題之上。而長尾理論這本書，提出了一個long tail的觀察和理論，指出在現今科技發展的環境下，long tail將帶來行銷經營策略上重大觀念性革命。不是文學類書籍，無所謂好看或不好看，所以不給不負責任推薦指數星等，倒可推薦的是作者表達的理念清楚順暢且具說服力。

11) 交換日記 11：從多年前的第一集看到現在第十一集了，忠實捧場是老劉這種老派讀者不得不為的制約行為，即便其實早已不像以前那麼有趣了。不負責任推薦指數2顆星。

12) 把妹達人 (The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists)：題材爆特別的一本書，內容雖說不上什麼高潮起伏，卻讓老劉忍不住一頁一頁讀下去。但讀完後，盤踞在老劉腦中不去的問題是：「這真的是自傳式的真實經歷嗎？！」如果書中所描寫的「把妹招數」和「PUA秘密社群」真實存在，光是知道這世界如此千奇百怪，就讓這本書值回票價。不負責任推薦指數3顆星。 外話，孤狗一下，還真能找到書中提到的PUA group，這個 --> http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/ 原來我過去一直活在象牙塔裡啊~ 這世界果真是什麼都有，什麼都不奇怪…)

13) 來不及穿的8號鞋 (All the Numbers)：老劉是鼓足了百分之兩百二的勇氣，才總算將一直被我刻意冷凍了好一段時間的這本小說拿起來讀。何解？因為這本書本身就是悲劇題材，更別說它的悲劇來自於一個意外中失去一個11歲兒子的單親母親...白髮人送黑髮人，這是讓升格為媽媽的老劉認為絕對是世間第一悲的慘事，而老劉害怕去窺探一絲絲這樣的傷痛，怕明知只是小說故事，也怕讓老劉深陷悲傷而無法自拔 (鴕鳥心態再次展現無遺…)。但，「幸運」的是，這本書的作者寫作功力必定不算上乘，所以輕易讓老劉從故事當中脫離出來，還懷疑她所描寫的悲傷深度。不負責任推薦指數勉強給上2顆星。

Our Heritage (VI)

還有故事可以聽…

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Lin’s Heritage #6 On Education

Among our family members, although we are doing OK at school, we all agree that none of us is really gifted at all. This fact was made acutely obvious to us by knowing those really gifted at school. For example, Susan has a friend who made her tenured professorship of physics at age around 30. What we agreed was overall we had an above average IQ and lots of honest effort made toward what we were trying to do.

Your Grandma decided that her children, me and my sister, should have education that should go as high as possible even though she was illiterate, and so were her parents adopted her. My father’s side offered no hope of education either; every one was illiterate.

Both myself and my sister did not go to any kinder garden, or pre-school classes. I guess at that time only very well-off family could afford to do so. But I did have private tutor at home together with my older sister, a girl adopted by Grandma. Yes, Grandma also adopted a girl. It is quite customary for the poor people to let go of their girls that they could not feed and become some one’s adopted girl. Knowing the misery of not having any education, your Grandma was determined to give this girl some education although when she came to our family she was already nine years old and not having any school education at all. Your Grandma decided to hire a private tutor to come to our home to teach her traditional Chinese education. That was very old fashion Chinese teaching, still very active at the time, despite more than 50 years of Japanese occupation and education of Taiwan. I joined my elder sister as student taking traditional Chinese lessons, such as Three Characters Bible, Confucian Dialogue etc. I do not remember whether my sister join us. Perhaps she did not because she was too young to join us.

Our adopted sister learned to read and write the old Chinese way. It worked. As to your Grandma, she finally managed to write her own name in Chinese when she was almost 60 and needed to write to prove the government official that she could manage to read and write so she could go visiting other countries for business reason. At that time, Taiwan did not allow people to go visiting other countries as tourist, only businessmen could. Your Grandma visited many countries posing as a business woman.

At primary school, my sister was doing much better than me because she was made something like deputy class chief because of her performance. I never received any award as a student. Some of you know how I managed to go to primary school on the very first day entering the grade one. Your Grandma had not time to take me to school for registration. Most probably, she could not do it either because she could not read not write.

I went to go school for registration together with a neighbor on the first day. Next day I went to school by myself by walking about one hour. However, immediately on the first ever classroom, I got into the fight with anther boy who was fighting for the same seat that I thought was my seat. It turned out I was entering into another classroom, not mine.

Normally, a class had about 40 to 50 students. Half of them did not have shoes to wear. I belong to the bare foot troop. You could imagine how hot it was during the summer by walking over the oily tartar road surface. I did have a pair of shoes, but they are for official use only, not daily run. Some students really did not have any shoe at all.

I still remembered my first semester class report was ranked 32 among 50 some students. Your Grandma gave me a very rough beating, the first that I ever had. It was so bad that I did make effort to improve. After that, your Grandma did not bother with my school reporting any more, probably she was too busy with business and she had to ask someone else to read for her. However, my ranking at school stayed at #24 for the first four years because the other 23 students had tutoring lessons with our class teachers and had access to the trial runs of tests.

Since your Grandma never knew how to check on our school status. We were forced to sign off all school correspondence by ourselves. Without any help from any one, both my sister and myself did play truant without going to school for more than one semester until finding out by the neighbor and let your Grandma know. Our playing truant was two individual events, not related. I forgot why I did it, nor did I know why my sister did it. But somehow I remembered it was something that a small kid did not know how to handle; it was not we did not like school or we were poor students.

Both my sister and myself went on to tier one good middle school by passing the competitive exam(*1) without attending any tutoring classes. I still remembered when I passed, my teacher who taught me until grade four was asking people how could I pass. While at junior high school, I did not have any problem with my school work except English.

I must dwell on the subject English for a while. I found mathematics fairly easy. The Chinese not so difficult even though we had to study ancient classic Chinese. However, English was such an alien subject to me. I had to retake exam every semester just to pass. I even could not do the home work at all. Thus, in the beginning of every semester, all I had to do is to go to a special bookstore where they are selling teachers’ aids where all home works answers were available. In fact, until I was at the senior high school, one fellow student asked me how many English alphabets were there and I did not how many.

I went from one junior high school to another even better one after passing exam. Again I did not know how I did it. In fact, I even did not know that one is better than the other. As soon as I attend the new senior high school, I found I had another nightmare with English teaching. My English teacher at junior high also moved to the new senior high and again he was my English teacher. What a nightmare?

However, my life was completely transformed at this senior high school, the Attached Middle School of Taiwan Normal University. This senior high school was run by a very liberal principle. For the first time, I found a school principle could be so liberal. If a student decided that class was not his liking, he could just leave and enjoyed himself outside the classroom. All classes were named in serial number. My class is #55, a very famous one, indeed, in the history of that school. The school classes already run into four digits, i.e. now it is class 1xxx now. Only this middle school has such a class naming system.

After one year at this senior high school, the students at class 55 decided that our head teacher was very poor, so were most of other teachers. The class performance in school was notorious. We had most of the offence reporting, all stigma of poor lousy students. Most of numbers of students dismissed. Most of numbers of students on probation, etc, etc. Yet, we believed it was not our fault. We decided to revolt and signed a petition to the school principle, requesting to change all teachers. Our petition was signed by most students, except a few who believed we were revolutionary. To avoid being named as ringleader, the petition was signed in a big circle, i.e. no one was heading the signature signing list.

Surprisingly our petition was successful. We had a new class head teacher and all other teachers newly assigned. That was the sophomore year of the senior high and we had new teachers in all subjects. I had new English teacher and I was ready for him. How?

After the freshmen year of the senior high and, during the summer, I decided to do something about my poor English study. I felt I knew too few English words and I had no understanding of English grammar at all. I went to the city library and took a look to see if there was any book I could study. I pulled every book on the shelf and read it. It took me almost one whole day. Finally, I found a book, titled something like English Grammar Explained by Sentences. For every grammar rule explained, there are twenty example sentences. Yes, I could understand the book. The question was how could I come to read the book every day, fully understood it, and without having someone else taking the book before my arrival at the library.

What I did for that summer completely changed my understanding of English. I would read every rule, copied every example sentences into my notebook; yes, I was hand copying the complete book. And at the end of the day, I would hide the book at a place only I knew so that next day I could locate it for myself again.

I had no problem with my English study after that summer. Another finale episode about English study at the senior high school was the English teaching by the newly assigned teacher. He was quite a famous teacher. When he came in for the first class. We are waiting to see how good was he. Well what we found was totally beyond our expectation…

The new English teacher started talking English and English only. He started teaching the text book by explaining English with English. For our benefit he took time to write every words on the blackboard. And all of us were furiously copying every word because we simply did not understand his verbalism at all. At the end of the class, he finally spoke in Chinese asking if we had any problem. We were relieved and start asking in Chinese.

We were quite vocal in questioning his teachings. Yet, he made no concession whatsoever. All teaching would be in English, all home works would be in English, even the test would be completely in English. And only English to English dictionary would be allowed in the class. We were frustrated as a class and asked how could he expect us to spend so much time to study English, looking up every word in English and finding more words to be checked again. His answer: His job was to teach and our job to learn; if we had to spent 24 hours all day just to study his subject, it was not his problem. And in that case, he expected us to spend 24 hours a day just to study English at the expense of all other subjects.

Surprisingly, the class made it together with the teacher. And I was fortunate to have such a teacher in my life. This writing is dragging too long. But whenever I found someone that could not study well on any subject, I do believe it is a matter of diligence, not IQ(*2).

I will stop here for now. The next one will be on our higher education. .


(To be continued…)

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註釋：
(*1) 胖媽念的是「北一女初中」和「北一女高中」。是的，那時的北一女是有國中部的，而且需要聯考。更妙的是，我印象中看過一張胖媽的國中照片，裡面是有男生的！據說是因為那時的「北一『女』」有男生，哈。
(*2) "I do believe it is a matter of diligence, not IQ"：I can't agree on it more!

Our Heritage (V)

故事再繼續…

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Our Heritage #5: Why we are losing contacts with Grandma's side of male relatives

What your Grandma did after being booted out of the rented residence and food stall at Youn Lo market?

She went into a JV(*1) with her tenant at the Circle. I did not know what was the deal. Probably without any business to operate after losing the Youn Lo stall, your Grandma wanted the food stall back from the leaser at the Circle. The leaser were from Hsin-chu and was selling the pork meat ball that was quite famous at Hsin-chu; even, nowadays Hsin-chu meat ball still dominates the market. I believe your Grandma, instead of evacuating the leaser, opted to work together with them. The JV worked out pretty well for quite a few years until somehow the other party decided to quit the JV and let your Grandma became the sole owner. Again, I was too young to know what was breakup deal, but I know it was amiable breakup because the employee from Hsin-chu stayed on to work for your Grandma.

On the housing side, it was another story. By that time, your aunt Mei Chu, my cousin, LoLo and LiLi's mother, was successful in occupying and claiming one house vacated by the leaving Japanese. Again, it was wild-west-time for every one to jump in and claim the property left behind by the Japanese. All you need to do is to physically take over the site and produce something to prove or trying to prove that the Japanese left it for you. God knew what was true or not. The house very close to #1 lane 41 Chi-Feng St and at the today's value at least US$2,000,000.

Your Grandma's nature born parents invited your Grandma to share the house with them. All of them lived in the newly occupied Japanese house, your Grandma's parents, their two brothers, and two sisters. Your Grandma had to pay to join. Again it is the backend court yard of the house that your Grandma was offered to built a small wooden house to live in. The total cost about NT$5,000 to build. The time we spent there, although short and only for a little over one year, was one of the happiest time we ever had. That small wooden house accommodated, my Grandma (my father's mother), your Grandma, me, my sister, and normally two food stall employees. We were very happy because we finally lived under our own roof. I could still remember how we sang together. All those old Taiwanese songs your Grandma could sing and I could too.

The happy time was quickly turned into an ugly story. Two brothers were without steady jobs after the war. They wanted to sell the house to raise funds to go into business. The elder brother was a magician, and I was quite often his assistant. That's where I learned Magics from. You would be surprised at that time they had to invent and make all magic tools by themselves. I watched them, group of magicians, developed the idea, test-run, and completed the tools and skits. Quite interesting, not much different than the modern-day brainstorming or R&D.

Two brothers wanted to go into business as goldsmiths. One of magician brother had a client, a goldsmith, decided to become a magician. The deal was cut: the magician brother would help his client to become a magician, and the magician brother would become a goldsmith. A perfect job swap. And eventually both were successful in their ventures. Amazing. I saw it happen.

Now back to the ugly story. Two brothers wanted your Grandma to leave by tearing down the wooden house so that they could sell the house as was. No compensation what so ever. Your Grandma asked them to sell the wooden house in a bundle so that she could recover the building cost. The answer was NO. Again it was a very tearful experience for your Grandma and us. We eventually left the house and left two brothers forever. Your Grandma's parents were unable to help, so was LiLi's mother.

Another traumatic experience with relatives. Your Grandma, this time around, decided to have really a house of her own. She paid NT$10k for our first ever self owned house. I did not know how she did it. Obviously the food stall business at the Circle was doing well. I was always asked to pen the price list in black inks over the red paper. That was how the prices were changed.

And our first self owned house at #8 lane 52 chih-feng st also had a vacant back yard that was built into another smaller house and rented out all the time. Another of your Grandma scheme to make more money.

Your Grandma basically cut off relations with two brothers for years, but maintained fare relationship with two sisters. Both brothers had wives quite mean to your Grandma's nature born mother. Believe Susan can still remember her; she was quite a beauty, but fat. At the later days of her life, she liked to stay with us at #1 lane 41 chih-feng st because she was not welcomed by either one of her daughters in law. She would pretend that she needed to go back to his son's places, but within less than one day, she was back with us. We knew it, but we would pretend that she missed us and needed to stay with us. In fact, she had no place to stay. Years later, LiLI's mother was doing better, and she went to stay with her daughter and son-in-law most of the time. As to the two brothers' goldsmith shops; both were doing well except they could not keep it. None of their children are in gold business any more. And we lost touch completely.

The next episode will be about my and my sister's schooling. And your Grandma vs our educations.

(To be continued…)
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註釋：(*1) JV：Joint Venture，指合資進行某項生意或計劃… (多嘴解釋一下，以免有人不清楚，可偏字典裡找不到縮寫字…)

Our Heritage (IV)

趁空再來貼故事…

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Our Heritage #4: Grandma had to fight them all to survive

Our first ever self-owned house is located at #8 lane 52 chih-feng street(*1), Taipei. The address is still valid where a four floor apartment is now located. The grandma bought it for about NT$10k, the share she asked for when my uncle' side had the windfall of land sales. But the money was all from your Grandma's earning, not a penny from any one else. We lived there from my grade 3 to the day I earned a place at the university entrance exam. After that, we moved to a new and much better one, #1 lane 41 chih-feng street. The newer address is still there and the building is exactly the same there. All of you were given birth there, except Tom, who had the honor of living in the best house we ever have and bought under Wendy's name with my money and Wendy's money management. After marrying, my younger sister lived on the ground floor of #1 lane 41 and we lived on the second floor. Thus, grandma bought two floors at one time and was considered a very well off business woman by that time.

What about those days before your grandma bought the first house? Where did we live and how did we survive?

I did not have very clear memory of how your Grandma made it. But your Grandma was known to continue to operate the food stall at the circle(*2) during the war. But the life was tough and food shortage rampant. Your Grandma had to source non-rationed food from the country side. She had to buy pigs for pork from I-Lan and rode train to take pigs back to Taipei. But there were cops searching for any person transporting foods for sales, other than the officially rationed ones. How to do it on the public transportation under the police surveillance? Your Grandma had to conceal the pig as baby and shouldered it on the back with the blanket covered. Of course, the pig has a baby cap on the head and compled with mittens and socks. Obeying the rules and starve or breaking the rules and survive. The choice is very obvious.

At the height of American bombing Taipei during the last phase of war, both my sister and I had to join our uncle at the farm, and your Grandma continued to stay in the city. Those were my country side days. Shortage of food did not stop kids from enjoying the country side; we swam in the stream without any teaching and supplemented foods with any things we could find. They are plenty. We ate serpents, frogs, small fishes and shrimps, crickets etc.. But the staple food was always a bucket of red carrots with very little rice in it. For that reason, I was unable to take any food with red carrots for many many years.

After the war, our first rented house was located exactly on the same street where 228 events took place. The cigarette selling ladies are every day lives there. I only remembered people were scared and angry. Very quickly we moved to another living quarter, not far away and very close to where your Grandma was having her food stall business, Youn Lo (ever happy) market. We now rented a place at the back end of a relatives' residence. The relative was from your Grandma's adopted parents' side. The relative was quite well off as a fake doctor (he was only interned as a medicine dispensing boy). The doctor was quite famous and that address still has a clinic operated by his son; this time around a medical school graduate. I can show the place to you next time you are in Taipei. It is right in front of Taipei ChenHwon Temple, where, as kids, seeing people being executed by KMT army in front of the temple was part of kids passing time fun. Eerie? Yah, but we were not aware of it. This is how I see Mainland China executing prisoners in public.

We rented the backend of doctors' residence at the fair market price. I guess at that time every one needs some extra money even if you were a doctor. Most of my pre primary and primary school days were there. I will cover my schooling in another episode.

Every one were doing better and better. Your Grandma's business, doctor's business, and your Grandma's competitors. Your Grandma had to fight her landlord and the competitors.

First, the doctor decided that he would evacuate us without any valid reason. Your Grandma was willing to pay extra rents to stay, but the doctor insisted that we moved. The doctor went to court to evacuate us. Your Grandma appeared at the court to defend herself. She prevailed. And the court ruled that the doctor needed to give your Grandma sufficient time to evacuate. I believed we stayed there for another two or three years.

On the business side, your Grandma was doing a better business than her next door competitors. Eventually, the competitors went to the stall owner (yes, your Grandma rented out the Circle stall and rented another one at Young Lo market) and had the owner agreed not to renew the rental with your Grandma.

Again, your Grandma was taken to court and she fought to win a order to give us sufficient time to relocate.

I did not participate in any of these events because I was too young. But I could hear your Grandma crying at nights after work, saying something like why people were so mean to helpless widows and their children. So much for this episode. I could not continue any more with tears again swelling in my eyes.

See you next time.

(To be continued…)
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註釋：
(*1) chih-feng street：台北市赤峰街，也是老劉出生時住的地方(但非這一個住址，應是文後提到的另一地址)。不過小劉當時年紀小(估計不到三歲)，所以對赤峰街只剩零星的記憶了；
(*2) the circle：台北市那個曾經以地方小吃聚集、聞名的「圓環」。只可惜在前幾年市政府將之改建後，因設計不良使得小吃商家經營越來越形困難，如今已吹熄燈號了；

Our Heritage (III)

舅舅繼續說故事…

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Our Heritage #3: Why we lost contact with my father's side relatives

Your Grandma now sleeps in peace at the cemetery overlooking the ocean(*1). You all have been there. My sister and I put it together. Although we did not discuss it nor openly let others know, this location is going to be the beginning of a new Lins and their progeny, you are all included unless you are having other arrangements.

Does my father have a resting place of his own? Well, as a missing-in-action person, there is no physical remains at all. About the time your Grandma passed away, the bigger kin of Lins decided to put up a group cemetery where all related Lins were put together in a shrine-like cemetery. My father or your Grandpa did have a place of his own there, though not physically. And as the only heir to my father, I am supposed to have a place booked already. We contributed to its buildup as requested, but had no intention to play any role in future. Our worship of ancestor will begin with your Grandma as the first progenitor.

Now what happened? The poor my uncle side's family continued to stay at farms after the war, but after the land reform, they had a windfall of having speculators buying up their farm land at a price they never had seen before. Legally and by traditions, the farming Lins would have to share with Lins now living in Taipei. Your Grandma asked for a small fair share, about NT$10k, enough to buy a small one floor shack in Taipei to live in. Our guess is their share was at least several times of that. They agreed, but never coughed up the money. Over years, it becomes such a bad faith that both sides decided not to talk to each other. But how did they inherit the land without our consent. We later found out: they proclaimed to the court that my father was missing and no heir, that's me, available to take his place. After so many years of proclamation, the court awarded the land right to them. Obviously it was fixed-up.

My uncle side still lives not far away from the farm. Once they even told me that I would have a piece of the house land, now that farmland already sold. But even that piece of house land was ever given to me. Most of them remains undereducated and may be living just like regular workers. In the past, sometimes they will call us to let us know there is going to have a cemetery worship. But they do not invite us any more.

How about the other sisters of my fathers? They are also uneducated and most living in the country sides. One of my aunts is exception. We call her Sugar because her name is Lin Sugar in Chinese. She married a farmer growing vegetables on the other side of Tamsui river across Taipei city. They became quite prosperous because of the land, the location is now one of subways station. Her sons also became vegetable wholesalers and are all doing very well.

That is for my father's side. Will share my mother's side story in the next episode.

(To be continued…)

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註釋：
(*1) 老劉的外婆現安眠於淡水的北海福座，山明水秀，可遠眺淡水海景；

Our Heritage (II)

續貼舅舅的文章…

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This is #2 of what I like to share with you and at times found it uneasy to share.

All of you may wonder why all our relatives come from your Mother side and not my side. Even Wendy(*1) made joke of me that all relatives of my side were maintained by her and I just stood on the sideline. Yes, both me and my only sister, Chu-chiang(*2), are pretty cool toward our relatives. I like to let you know why and how we were brought up to be so. It does not mean we do not enjoy cozy relationships with Wendy's relatives, so is Chu-chiang to her husband's relatives. We enjoy the relationship because we know how difficult to come by.

First on my father's side: My grandparents had two sons and several daughters. As usual daughters were brought up and married as soon as they were fit.

Two sons were supposed to be the heirs to Lin's heritage. Unfortunately, Lins were simply very poor contracted farmers, or the farmers working for the landlords. In fact, my grandpa even did not have a leased land to till; thus he was married into my grandma family because she had a leased land to till. Thus, my grandpa was a hired son-in-law to till the land and to give birth to children. If you ever saw the picture of my grandpa, yes, we had one, the group picture, he was tall, handsome, and could pass for a modern 007.

The land was to small to support two sons. My father was younger and had to move on to find his own life somewhere else. He moved to Taipei across the Tanshui river. Illiterate and poor, he moved around jobs, supplemented his incomes as a typical scoundrel. But he was also smart, verbal, and quick to take his own position at an emerging market. He was also smart to find a hard-working seamstress and beautiful wife, you grandma. Again, like his own father, he agreed to marry into your grandma's family. Thus, my younger sister, had a surname Kuo; the surname was changed back to Lin when KMT arrived and did not respect the local customs

My uncle passed away because of a simple appendix trouble due to the poor medical conditions. My father left us for the WWII as a cook for the Japanese family. Yes, he was a cook because he managed to occupy a food stall at the Circle to sell foods. I said "occupy" because it is a free for all Western story. You simply stake a place and stay there to claim for it. I was four and my sister just one when my father went for war. Thus, I had very little memory of him. All his heroic activities and Uncle's death, I heard it later when I grew up.

Now Lins were left with two widows and children, we have two and they have five. They continued staying at the farm and your grandma eking a life in Taipei. My grandma moved in to take (care) of me and sister; your grandma worked day and night to support us.

From now on, it is a story of continuous bitterness with both Lins' family at the country side, and the Chens' family, your grandma's nature family in Taipei. The stories would teach you only one lesson, there is no one to rely on except yourself when the time is tough; and when the time is good, most people would not share your share with you even if they are your relatives. Your grandma fought them all and was taught the lessons well not to have cozy relationship with them except for courteous reasons. I would share the story in the next episodes. But I hope all of you would like the Tai's family(*3) model, rather than Lins. Although I know when it came to financial deals, even among Tais, they have their share of bitterness. But no hard feeling, they are still a big, boisterous, happy family. See you next time.


(To be continued…)
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註釋：
(*1) Wendy：老劉的舅媽；
(*2) Chu-chiang：again，老劉的胖媽，中文名 初江；
(*3) Tai's family：我舅媽的親戚，戴家；

Our Heritage (I)

好一陣子沒update我的blog了，
最近生活上或工作上，家人的身體微恙和工作上的挫折等種種壓力，
總讓我提不起勁來寫點什麼。

這兩天，舅舅寄來一些他自己寫的一連串關於我外婆的記事，
也片斷描寫了胖媽和他的點滴成長歷程。
雖然不是什麼文學鉅著，但因內容和我有切身的關聯，讀完後的省思及情緒是深刻而複雜的。
一時千頭萬緒，抽不出時間好好整理自己的想法 (容後再補…)，
先借花獻佛，經舅舅同意，將他的文章貼上來。
不是要特別去彰顯什麼，只想或許有些朋友也會和老劉一樣，感受到某種「尋根」的興味。
那個逝去的時代、逝去的精彩人物或殘酷角色，深深地影響著我的母親，
相信也間接造就了今日老劉之所以為老劉。

最近手邊在讀的幾本書，都是所謂的半自傳，
其中一本值得推薦的『天生嫩骨(Tender at the Bone)』裡有一句話：
「人生最重要的莫過於一則好故事。」
我的外婆、爺爺奶奶們那一代，甚或我的父母他們，
動亂的年代、困苦的成長環境，彷彿讓他們總有說不完的精彩故事。
那我們呢？
生長於相對富足的時代，只不過經歷稍微的工作壓力、情感不順遂或大環境不景氣，
有什麼悲觀的權力，我們又有什麼唉聲嘆氣的資格？
數十年後，我是否能了無遺憾自己曾經夠努力去生活，對自己問心無愧，
足夠告訴我的下一代，一則關於我們的「好故事」。

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On Ohbama: our Heritage #1

I(*1) just read the abstracts of Ohbama bio in Chinese. Very impressed just like when Susan(*2) sent us the English one. In addition, I met quite a few Ohbama-father-like students in Hawaii, smart, poor, and yet ambitious. It seems Ohbama's mother is a local mixed Hawaiian herself. Anyway, I can relate to all people and even places named in the book.

I am writing this one to you to let you know it is worthwhile to remember one's heritage. Both my parents are illiterate, so are my father's parents. The only exception, is my mother's nature born father. But your grandma was given away as a baby and raised by a poor illiterate parents again.

I do not know why both my young sister(*3) and myself excelled in school even though no body, was able to teach or even guide us at home. Both of us were raised by my grandma, my father's mother in Taipei, while your grandma had to make the ends meet working full time. Perhaps, just as Ohbama's father said to Ohbama in Hawaii at 10 when they first remeet after their separation at the age of two, it is naturely born, all other Ohbama's half siblings are doing well at school.

Yes, I come from very humble family, but somehow I have the best education that I could have during that time. I can communicate well with all those coming out of the upper society, but at heart I do not share their values at all. To understand it, you can just read the articles written by my young sister; Shirley(*4) has a booklet made of those articles. It is worthwhile to reread them to know your Grandma well.

I may write more in future. But for today, I will end this one by sharing with you what I consider the most tasty food in the world in my life. It was in Honolulu, as the presidents of Taiwanese students association, together with other representatives from other country, we were entertained by the Governor of Hawaii with a formal French dinner. It was my first ever formal Western dinner. Here comes the soup, French Cosomme, the clear beef soup. I dipped my spoon to find out if there is any real food underneath. No, absolute clear soup. Upon tasting it. Oh, what a delicious soup.

It is easy to appreciate a real good French soup. Here is the other most tasty food I ever had in my life. My grandpa, my father's father, lived in the country side and came to visit us once in a while by walking about six hours to reach us in Taipei. He lived to almost 90 without doctor's case and was totally blinded during the last ten years, most probably because of cornea. When my grandpa came, he always gave us a little coin money and some real hard toast ends that we baked to eat as extra foods. It tasted so good that we fought for the crumbles of the toast. However, my grandma always scorned harshly at grandpa every time he came to see us. Eventually, I listened and found out what they were shouting at.

My grandpa was quite old at that time and, as a farmer all his life, he was dirt poor. Where did the little money and toast ends come from? He begged as a beggar all the way while walking to reach us. My grandma was ashamed of his being a beggar. I was three years older than my sister and thus I did not know whether she knew it. But I was so shocked and could not hold back my tears having the delicious baked toast ends. Even now my eyes are swell with tears. I hope you do understand my feeling.

When I came back to Taiwan in 1967 and was hired by the garment maker, Formostar, my interviewer, also a self-made East West Center alumni, I later found out, asked what was my ambition. I told him that I was going to make it one way or another, otherwise, I would leave Taiwan forever. But on one condition, I would never work for KMT controlled government. Why, I was totally pissed off by KMT as a student and as a part-timer worker when at the graduate school of Taiwan university in 1964 and as an army officer in 1963.

So much for today. See you until next time.

(to be continued...)

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註釋：
(*1) 文中的第一人稱，是老劉的舅舅；
(*2) Susan：老劉的大表姐；
(*3) “my young sister”：就是老劉的媽媽，也就是總被我稱作「胖媽」的那一位 :P
(*4) Shirley：老劉的二表姐；

相關小聯結：
* Barack Ohbama的英文自傳 Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance ，台灣博客來也有得買，不必從Amazon飄洋過海寄來~
* 歐巴馬的自傳中文版 ，台灣已出版 『歐巴馬的夢想之路-以父之名』