Our Heritage (I)

好一陣子沒update我的blog了，
最近生活上或工作上，家人的身體微恙和工作上的挫折等種種壓力，
總讓我提不起勁來寫點什麼。

這兩天，舅舅寄來一些他自己寫的一連串關於我外婆的記事，
也片斷描寫了胖媽和他的點滴成長歷程。
雖然不是什麼文學鉅著，但因內容和我有切身的關聯，讀完後的省思及情緒是深刻而複雜的。
一時千頭萬緒，抽不出時間好好整理自己的想法 (容後再補…)，
先借花獻佛，經舅舅同意，將他的文章貼上來。
不是要特別去彰顯什麼，只想或許有些朋友也會和老劉一樣，感受到某種「尋根」的興味。
那個逝去的時代、逝去的精彩人物或殘酷角色，深深地影響著我的母親，
相信也間接造就了今日老劉之所以為老劉。

最近手邊在讀的幾本書，都是所謂的半自傳，
其中一本值得推薦的『天生嫩骨(Tender at the Bone)』裡有一句話：
「人生最重要的莫過於一則好故事。」
我的外婆、爺爺奶奶們那一代，甚或我的父母他們，
動亂的年代、困苦的成長環境，彷彿讓他們總有說不完的精彩故事。
那我們呢？
生長於相對富足的時代，只不過經歷稍微的工作壓力、情感不順遂或大環境不景氣，
有什麼悲觀的權力，我們又有什麼唉聲嘆氣的資格？
數十年後，我是否能了無遺憾自己曾經夠努力去生活，對自己問心無愧，
足夠告訴我的下一代，一則關於我們的「好故事」。

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On Ohbama: our Heritage #1

I(*1) just read the abstracts of Ohbama bio in Chinese. Very impressed just like when Susan(*2) sent us the English one. In addition, I met quite a few Ohbama-father-like students in Hawaii, smart, poor, and yet ambitious. It seems Ohbama's mother is a local mixed Hawaiian herself. Anyway, I can relate to all people and even places named in the book.

I am writing this one to you to let you know it is worthwhile to remember one's heritage. Both my parents are illiterate, so are my father's parents. The only exception, is my mother's nature born father. But your grandma was given away as a baby and raised by a poor illiterate parents again.

I do not know why both my young sister(*3) and myself excelled in school even though no body, was able to teach or even guide us at home. Both of us were raised by my grandma, my father's mother in Taipei, while your grandma had to make the ends meet working full time. Perhaps, just as Ohbama's father said to Ohbama in Hawaii at 10 when they first remeet after their separation at the age of two, it is naturely born, all other Ohbama's half siblings are doing well at school.

Yes, I come from very humble family, but somehow I have the best education that I could have during that time. I can communicate well with all those coming out of the upper society, but at heart I do not share their values at all. To understand it, you can just read the articles written by my young sister; Shirley(*4) has a booklet made of those articles. It is worthwhile to reread them to know your Grandma well.

I may write more in future. But for today, I will end this one by sharing with you what I consider the most tasty food in the world in my life. It was in Honolulu, as the presidents of Taiwanese students association, together with other representatives from other country, we were entertained by the Governor of Hawaii with a formal French dinner. It was my first ever formal Western dinner. Here comes the soup, French Cosomme, the clear beef soup. I dipped my spoon to find out if there is any real food underneath. No, absolute clear soup. Upon tasting it. Oh, what a delicious soup.

It is easy to appreciate a real good French soup. Here is the other most tasty food I ever had in my life. My grandpa, my father's father, lived in the country side and came to visit us once in a while by walking about six hours to reach us in Taipei. He lived to almost 90 without doctor's case and was totally blinded during the last ten years, most probably because of cornea. When my grandpa came, he always gave us a little coin money and some real hard toast ends that we baked to eat as extra foods. It tasted so good that we fought for the crumbles of the toast. However, my grandma always scorned harshly at grandpa every time he came to see us. Eventually, I listened and found out what they were shouting at.

My grandpa was quite old at that time and, as a farmer all his life, he was dirt poor. Where did the little money and toast ends come from? He begged as a beggar all the way while walking to reach us. My grandma was ashamed of his being a beggar. I was three years older than my sister and thus I did not know whether she knew it. But I was so shocked and could not hold back my tears having the delicious baked toast ends. Even now my eyes are swell with tears. I hope you do understand my feeling.

When I came back to Taiwan in 1967 and was hired by the garment maker, Formostar, my interviewer, also a self-made East West Center alumni, I later found out, asked what was my ambition. I told him that I was going to make it one way or another, otherwise, I would leave Taiwan forever. But on one condition, I would never work for KMT controlled government. Why, I was totally pissed off by KMT as a student and as a part-timer worker when at the graduate school of Taiwan university in 1964 and as an army officer in 1963.

So much for today. See you until next time.

(to be continued...)

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註釋：
(*1) 文中的第一人稱，是老劉的舅舅；
(*2) Susan：老劉的大表姐；
(*3) “my young sister”：就是老劉的媽媽，也就是總被我稱作「胖媽」的那一位 :P
(*4) Shirley：老劉的二表姐；

相關小聯結：
* Barack Ohbama的英文自傳 Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance ，台灣博客來也有得買，不必從Amazon飄洋過海寄來~
* 歐巴馬的自傳中文版 ，台灣已出版 『歐巴馬的夢想之路-以父之名』